Thursday, October 14, 2004

humble pie

Humble pie is the meal one eats when directly confronted with one's shortcomings. Lunch today is humble pie, and I must eat it. It's in the fine print. "When one is given humble pie, one is required to eat it and can under no circumstances shirk this duty."
Aryan is a student with whom I have had continous conflict. On the first day of school, he offered to find me a boyfriend. For the entire first week, he spoke out of turn. At the end of the first month, he came and told me that he had been skipping my class and then leered at me, as if we were sharing a joke. A few days ago, we had a true fight over his behavior in class, after which I cried like a child. Yes, like a child.
In other words, Aryan and I have a rather complex relationship.
Complexity aside--yesterday, upon learning that his grandmother was in a coma, I wanted to talk to him. So today, I asked him, "Aryan, how are you? I heard about your grandmother."
"Miss," he wanted to know, "when did you find out about this?"
"Yesterday."
"During lunch?"
"Yes."
"I thought so. You looked like you were about to talk to me. You looked at me differently."
And then he sat in my classroom, quietly, as I worked at my desk.

"You looked at me differently." I am so ashamed.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is a sad story if you take it that way. but you know, he could just be refering to the fact that you wear your heart on your sleeve, and that anyone can read the compassion in your eyes as if the pupils were that little dodecagon in the middle of a Magic 8 Ball. if you look at him different, it's because there is understanding now, not because you looked at him in a terrible way before.

and hey, if i'm way off base, then a little humble pie never hurt anyone -- unless it's served a la mode with overguilty flavored icecream.

2:47 AM  
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