out of words

I've run out of words.
In a theatre class, once, I heard that people are afraid to scream, because it's so un-allowed, so outside of the realm of what is socially acceptable. The deep breath before the sharp push, it's wrong; it has to be wrong.
And it is, in a way.
But, I've been screaming this week. I closed the door to my classroom yesterday and screamed for all I was worth, and today I came home and screamed while I was doing the dishes,
because, really, what more is there to say?

tonight, i have a headache

well. i had some things i wanted say. about culture (observations thereon), and something embarrassing, and something else...but, who cares? all of that is null and void, because of this headache that hammers away at me. and i resent that neurologist who took my money and prescribed me the "relief" (Topamax) that led to this, this condition that is worse than what it was before i took her damnable medication. a dull ache is, today, electric lights, and for that, i call her a liar of the worst variety. why do they educate these idiots? why churn out perpetrators of "blind leading the blind" syndrome? but, oh--the blind follow. who else do they have?
i'm blind. i can't see out of my right eye, almost. i didn't go to kickboxing. i've been sleeping for hours in the midst of hours of paperwork. i can barely speak in complete sentences.
give me my life back.
idiot doctor. idiot sheep-like me.